The following contract, dictating classic adult entertainment star Frank Siegelwitz's specific performance mandates, was originally disseminated in preparation for Siegelwitz's 1999 "Up the American Heartland" U.S. Tour. It was sent to Toner by a disgruntled Cleveland area promoter, who claimed Siegelwitz fell through on his agreement to provide a full 85 minute show and, along with his entourage, needlessly ruined his carpets. We reproduce the contract here to give readers a backstage look at the live adult entertainment industry and further explore this months theme of sex, drugs, and rock.