Confessions of an
11-year-old Screenwriter

So I guess what I’m saying is to try it and write as much as you can even if others laugh or call you different. And they will, because we’re outsiders.

Then why do they laugh?

Because they don’t understand us. (Beat) But let me tell you something—there’s nothing to be gained from being an insider. I’m going to use a few clichés here but listen-- read these books and write, write, write. Because you never know. Because you learn more from failure than you ever will from success.

What do you mean?

I mean I didn’t sell my scripts. Of course, I didn’t sell my scripts but I tried. I wrote them and I sent them out and I got feedback on them and that’s what made me keep writing.

It sounds like a lot of work.

Look, if something’s too easy, it’s no longer worthwhile or special. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it and who wants to do something that everyone else is doing? You only live once—-be original.

Ok. Writing is like dating—success is hard but you won’t succeed unless you try. 98% of the time the date’s a dud, but there’s always that two percent chance you’ll meet someone worthwhile and hit it off. Or, in this case, sell your script.

You’ll understand when you’re older. So you want to be a screenwriter, huh? Want some advice? Make sure you buy enough stamps and always hit spell check. (Beat) More importantly, do you like Woody Allen movies?